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What’s the deal with the San Jose Sharks? (Seinfeld Edition)

13 Mar

The Sharks aren’t looking so good these days. And whenever I’m feeling blue, I like to throw on some old episodes of Seinfeld to see what lessons I can apply to the situation.

After some extensive research, here are some helpful points that I’ve found.

The Sharks players are probably feeling the same way Kramer is right about now.

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Sorry everyone, I’m done venting now.

9 Mar

David Backes punches Marc-Edouard Vlasic

If you’ve had to be around me in the last week or so, you might say I was a bit surly when discussing the Sharks’ current scoring woes. And so for that, I want to apologize to all of you, and bring you all a positive post in time for San Jose’s matchup against the Blues.

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fuuuuuuuuuuuuck…

7 Mar

Flames score on Sharks

Well, that wasn’t good. No, that was way worse than not good. That was atrocious. The Sharks got beat by a Calgary team that is mediocre on its good nights.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t watch the entire game. I had to leave before the third period for my own hockey game (our team also only scored one goal). I’m also not one to call out players for their misgivings, but I’m fucking tired of this. There are common themes that continue to emerge game after game, and it’s time to call them out.

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The Traveling Sharks Circus Show is Coming to Calgary!

6 Mar

Joe Thornton cheering.

Come one, come all! Come see the “Most OK-est Show on Earth,” when the San Jose Sharks head to Calgary to take on the Flames. Fresh off a performance in Vancouver last night, the Traveling Sharks Circus Show received rave reviews from all in attendance.

“Pretty entertaining game there, especially at the end.”
– Cory Schneider, Goaltender

You heard it here, folks! Entertainment!

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Who is at fault for Sharks current woes?

26 Feb

sad shark. can't score on mediocre goaltenders

Let’s face it. The Sharks stink right now. They can’t get away shots, they can’t protect the puck, and they can’t out-skate anybody. Oh, and in case you didn’t notice, they’re having trouble scoring goals.

So who’s to blame? It’s human nature to want to blame someone; to point a finger and yell “IT’S YOUR FAULT!” as we struggle opening another bag of Doritos through our tears.

And I can’t take it anymore, I want a scapegoat, damn it. So who is it?

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Sharks in desperate need of pure scorers

25 Feb
Dany Heatley taking a shot

Without pure scorers like Dany Heatley, the Sharks struggle to get goals.

I miss Dany Heatley. There, I said it. Sure, he was overpaid and was slow at times, but you got to give it to the guy, he just knew how to put the puck into the fucking net.

Remember two seasons ago when Joe Pavelski played on the third line? Remember how awesome it was? The Sharks didn’t just have forward depth then, they had pure scoring depth. Or at the very least, they had a nice variety of skill sets. Marleau and Setoguchi gave Jumbo two dangerous options at all times, Heatley was a sniper on the second line, Torrey Mitchell had a ton of speed that could push the puck up on the third line. Granted, it didn’t hurt that Clowe had a career year playing alongside Couture and Heatley, and having Pavelski’s playmaking ability on the third unit between Mitchell and Kyle Wellwood.

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