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Sharks Game 2 Recap: Beating the Douchiest Team in Hockey

11 Oct

Yay, the Sharks beat the Ducks who somehow managed to get even more douchey this offseason by bringing on Kevin Bieksa. There’s almost no one left on the Canucks to hate. It’s a weird feeling. At least there’s still Burrows.

OK, let’s get to the game recap. Wow, what a game that was. The Sharks came to play. They’re playing aggressive, they’ve got energy and they are getting it done in all three zones, 5v5, and on special teams. It’s really been a treat thus far.

The Good

Patrick Marleau

This dude straight up came to play. He notched both goals for the Sharks, and both were hard earned, tenacious beauties.

Martin Jones

First game at home. First shutout. Not a bad way to go. Jones kept the Sharks in the game early making one crazy good save after another. This kid is looking to shaping up to be the real deal. And the defense in front of him hasn’t been terrible either!

Peter DeBoer

Forechecking? Net-front presence? Who is this team we’re seeing here? This new system DeBoer and staff have implemented is firing on all cylinders right now, and it’s a beautiful thing to see. The Ducks had no answer for the forecheck, and the Sharks’ best chances came from crashing the net, and getting physical up front.

The Return of Angry Joe

Jumbo lined up across Ryan Getzlaf in the faceoff dot, when Getzlaf started getting physical before the drop. Joe didn’t like that and gave him a swift stick to the abdomen, while getting tossed out. Verbal fisticuffs followed, and it was so good seeing a familiar friend. (Pavelski lost the faceoff)

Brent Burns on Defense!

This is the first game I’ve seen where Brent Burns looked not only competent but downright solid in his defensive role. He played hard, was in good position, and caused an amazing turnover with his stick as he fell to the ice to block the pass. That, and he did his usual damage and disruption in the offensive zone.

The Bad

Frederik Andersen

He didn’t play bad. In fact, he looked straight up nasty. This is bad news for future Sharks/Ducks games, as it’s going to be hard to score on this fool.

Joel Ward’s Empty Net Miss

From center ice, Ward shoots on an empty net to try and get his first goal as a Shark…and it hits the post. D’oh!

The Ugly

The Ducks’ Coaching Staff

Seriously, look at these guys. My god.

Boudreau

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yawneyheadshot_201415

Next Game: Tuesday, Oct. 13, 4:00 @ Washington Capitals

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Sharks Game 1: The Good, The Bad, and The “Brown”-y

7 Oct

After a 20 minute puck drop delay due to the stupid Blackhawks game (which made me miss the first L.A. goal), the Sharks finally started their season on my television. And I gotta say, it wasn’t a bad way to start. Although as we know from last year, winning the first game of the season in L.A. is no guarantee of success. At least this time there’s no banner hanging ceremony to deal with…

The Good

Martin Jones

After giving up his first goal as a Shark on the very first shot he faced, Jones settled into the game and showed why he was so coveted in the offseason. This is a dude who is young, athletic and just about to hit his prime. If he can play at this level consistently over the season, the Sharks will be just fine.

The Penalty Kill

This tweet sums it all up.

The Sharks went 6-6 on the PK.

Captain Pavelski (and the entire top line)

In his first game as Captain, Pavs looked absolutely fantastic, deflecting in a Brent Burns shot in the first, then scooping up a nice rebound in the second (later given to Donskoi). He also set up Burns on a wicked wrist shot that flew past Quick before he knew what was going on. Totally rad.

New System

We Sharks fans have only been saying for years that it might be nice (and effective) to FORECHECK. DeBoer has the boys playing aggressive and wow, what a difference. L.A. had no answer for it, and that was awesome.

Young Guys

Donskoi. Hertl. Tierney. Goodrow. All these guys looked good, especially Donskoi. He was constantly in the right spot on the ice, and is going to really shore up that top line nicely.

The Bad

The Second Line

OK, if I really have to pick something to criticize, the second line was less than stellar. But that’ll happen when you spend most of your time against the Kopitar line. Plus getting punched in the face by Dustin Brown doesn’t help. Honestly though, when the top line plays as well as it did, it’s hard to look as good. This new Marleau-Couture-Ward line is going to be fine.

Draft Kings

As if seeing ten commercials for these guys and Fan Duel every break isn’t enough, now they’ve got dasherboards! Watching sports this season is going to be rough.

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Sorry for the crummy resolution. 

 

The Ugly

Fuck Dustin Brown. Seriously, this guy is a roach who shouldn’t be playing in the league, and please God never ever again for Team USA.

Also, Milan Lucic, a guy who looks like the love child between Stallone and a bloodhound. The best part is that he’s not even the worst on the ice.

Next game: Saturday, Shark Tank, 7:30 vs. Ducks. Ew…getting all the turds out of the way early.

2014-2015 Season Predictions

30 Sep Sharks' forwards Joe Thornton and Brent Burns

It’s almost here. It’s almost fucking here. That wonderful day when a new NHL season begins, and I can go back to comfortably ignoring my obligations while daydreaming about the Sharks hoisting the Cup in the Spring (I mean it has to be their year this time, right?).

Wednesday, October 8 is only eight days away. I can’t wait for it to get here.

But for Sharks players, it will be filled with even more energy, as they have to start their Cup campaign in L.A. against the stupid, butthole, good-for-nothing, Kings. Not only do the Sharks have to play the team that knocked them out right away, but they also have to watch them lift their Stanley Cup Champions banner into the rafters.

 

Dustin Brown of the Kings lifting the Stanley Cup.

I hate the Kings. Fuck.

So now that a new season is nearly upon us, I wanted to take a moment to make my pre-season predictions, for the Sharks, the Pacific Division, and the playoffs altogether.

Prediction Number 1: Joe Pavelski will be the new Sharks captain.
Not that this is a real earth-shattering prediction. I think most people expect Pavs to take over the C this season. And if the Sharks’ new marketing efforts are any indication, they’re looking at Pavelski, Logan Couture, and Tomas Hertl to take over as their captain and two alternates. But if they don’t make Vlasic at least an alternate, that’s a huge mistake.

Prediction Number 2: The Sharks will continue to publicly alienate both Thornton and Marleau.
But privately, they’ll suck up as much as possible. Not because they respect them as players like all of us fans do, but because they want to find a way to move them. Still. I just don’t get it.

Prediction Number 3: Vancouver won’t suck nearly as much.
They’ll still finish no higher than 4th in the Pacific, but the Canucks will improve upon last season. The Sedins will play well. Ryan Miller will too. Nick Bonino will be alright, and they won’t even miss Ryan Kesler that much. The Sharks will still find a way to beat them every time, though.

Prediction Number 4: The Ducks will win the Pacific, Again.
I hate to say this, because of how much I hate the Ducks and all, but they are going to win the division again. They’ve added Ryan Kesler and Dany Heatley, both of whom I think will help them. However, because this is a Bruce Boudreau coached team, they’ll lose in Game 7 of the first round of the playoffs. Brucey likes doing that.

Prediction Number 5: The Sharks will finish 2nd in the Pacific.
Because they’re good like at in the regular season.

Prediction Number 6: The Avalanche will struggle this year.
The Avs will be the surprise disappointment this season, finishing 4th in the Central division.

Prediction Number 6: The Blackhawks will win the West.
I mean, it’s their turn after all. The Blackhawks will beat the Kings to get there.

Prediction Number 7: The Penguins will win the Cup.
I honestly don’t know why I’m saying this, but it has to happen again sometime, right? Maybe a new coach will get them over the hump.

Go Sharks!

Here’s my final predictions, by division:

Pacific

Ducks
Sharks
Kings
Canucks
Oilers
Coyotes
Flames

Central

Blackhawks
Stars
Blues
Avalanche
Predators
Wild
Jets

Metropolitan

Lightning
Bruins
Canadiens
Maple Leafs
Red Wings
Senators
Panthers
Sabres

Atlantic

Penguins
Rangers
Islanders
Capitals
Devils
Blue Jackets
Flyers
Hurricanes

Your least favorite Sharks blog is back!

3 Oct

But hey, at least so is Sharks hockey.

Tonight marks opening night for the San Jose Sharks (the third night of NHL action), taking on the Vancouver Canucks at home in the Shark Tank.

The last time these two teams met? Well…

…that was awesome. That Marleau sure does suck in the playoffs, doesn’t he, JR?

Anyway, short post today. More to come as the season progresses. Go Sharks!

Prediction: Sharks win 5-1, because fuck the Canucks.

San Jose vs. Vancouver: Music Edition

7 May

Image of Don Cherry's Hockey Hits

So I didn’t think of the idea for this post until just now, and I wish I had thought of it before the series (curse you, full-time employment!). Basically, I thought it would be fun to compare two bands: one from San Jose and one from Vancouver to see which one is better.

And since we’ve seen who has the better hockey team through three games, maybe now actually is a better time to start the discussion.

San Jose: The Limousines

The Limousines are an “indietronica” band hailing from the South (and East) Bay, California. They formed in 2007 by sending each other samples and melodies through the Interwebz. Then they compiled said samples into actual tunes.

The Hits:

“Internet Killed the Video Star” – lame title, but catchy as hell.

 

“Very Busy People” – another catchy tune, but even better video.

 

Vancouver: Mother Mother

Mother Mother is an eccentric, five-piece indie/folk/rock band that features brother and sister, Ryan and Molly Guldemond. Their lyrics can leave you in a state of wonder one song, make you laugh the next, but always leave you wanting more. Basically, they’re awesome. Way more awesome than their hockey team.

The Hits:

“The Stand” – One of my favorite tunes of theirs, although the video is a bit dizzying.

 

“O My Heart” – I hadn’t actually watched the video until now, but it’s about what I would expect, in a good way. The song itself is awesome.

 

The Winner: Mother Mother

I like the Limousines (and have their album on vinyl), but Mother Mother is more musically talented and are better songwriters. The Limousines do have interesting music videos and did completely fund their new album (out in 2013!) on Kickstarter, but Mother Mother has been killing it for much longer. And let’s face it, this is my blog, I don’t need to prove myself to you guys.

What do you think: Mother Mother or The Limousines?

Oh and by the way, and I’m taking Vancouver sneak away with a victory, by whining and crying until the refs just let them win. Final: 2-1, with goals from the Sedins and Couture.

Sharks Canucks Series Preview

30 Apr

Joe Thornton against some guy for Vancouver

The Sharks lost their final game of the season, slotting them into the 6th seed and blah blah blah, you get it already. The Sharks play the Canucks.

As I said in an earlier post, I don’t like the Canucks. They freak me out. I mean, does everyone have to look like a Sedin? Plus they knocked the Sharks out of the playoffs a couple years ago, and that’s not cool.

But that was 2011. Things are different now. And seeing how one of the biggest buttholes from that team now plays for the Sharks, I figured I’d give them a fair shake and do a real preview post.

Offense

Brent Burns being awesome.

Brent Burns being awesome.

Both teams have capable centers throughout their lines: Henrik Sedin, Ryan Kesler, and Derek Roy for Vancouver; Joe Thornton, Logan Couture, and Joe Pavelski for San Jose.

Both teams have tough top lines, and an offense that tends to live and die by the power play.

Advantage: Draw

Defense

Dan Boyle taking out some loser goaltender.

Dan Boyle doesn’t care how many pads you have.

This comes down to a couple of questions: Will Jason Demers come back this series? If not, who will replace him? Rookie Matt Tennyson is a capable puck-moving defensemen and natural complement to likely partner, Brad Stuart. Scott Hannan is slow and terrible with the puck, but he’s got “experience” which the coaches love, so it’ll probably be Hannan.

Meanwhile, Dan Boyle is still awesome, Matt Irwin is solid, and Marc-Edouard Vlasic is tenancious by the net.

Kevin Bieksa has been rock steady all season for Vancouver (which makes Dan Hamhuis Bebop). Unfortunately for him, he’ll most likely be facing the Couture-Marleau-Havlat line. The rest of the defense for Vancouver is somewhat suspect, so I got to give it to the Sharks on this one.

Advantage: Sharks

Goaltending

Antti Niemi is the man.

Antti Niemi does it all in style.

Antti Niemi has been putting up Vezina numbers all season, while the goalie soap opera continues in Vancouver, which in my opinion is the dumbest thing ever. Roberto Luongo is hands down a better goaltender than Cory Sedin Schneider. If Schneider plays, I give the advantage to Nemo. If Luongo plays, I still give the advantage to San Jose, but the Canucks will be harder to score against.

Advantage: Sharks

Douchebags

Burrows being a loser.

Mmm…hockey glove.

The Canucks have a few guys on the roster known for their epic levels of douchebaggery. Kesler and Burrows instantly come to mind, but ever since the acquisition of the king of all a-holes, Raffi Torres, this is actually closer than ever. Since Torres has yet to rip anyone’s head off in teal, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. Once he does though, the Sharks will be the third douchiest team in the West, behind only the Kings and Ducks.

The big takeaway however, is that Vancouver’s jerks can actually draw penalties, so at least there is a method behind the madness.

Advantage: Canucks

Series Prediction: I give it to the Sharks in 6 if they win Game 1. If they lose on Thursday, they’ll take it in 7.

March Madness: the good and not so good from this weekend

11 Mar

blues player tackles sharks player

The Sharks continued their usual up and down rollercoaster style of play this weekend, playing against a tough Blues team and a Colorado Avalanche squad who finally ended the Blackhawks’ historic run. All three teams are fighting for position in a tight Western Conference, meaning every point is critical.

There was some good and some bad from this weekend. So let’s just get right into it.

Good: The Sharks scored three goals in a game.

The offense got going against the Blues, putting up three goals, and going into the third period up 3-1.

Not so good: The Blues scored four, including the overtime winner.

Antti Niemi had six minutes of poor goaltending. It was arguably his only bad six minutes all season. Unfortunately, it led to two St. Louis goals, and he was quickly yanked in favor of backup, Alex Stalock. You have to wonder though if TMac makes that call if Greiss is still in the lineup…

Good: Scott Gomez got it going against the Blues.

Gomez is playing well right now, getting his second goal in three games and an assist against the Blues.

Not so good: Ryane Clowe is still struggling.

Clowe is set to have a breakout game soon, right? Right now, he’s doing two things: generating chances and turning over the puck. Unfortunately, I saw the turnover machine operating at full speed this weekend.

Good: Niemi bounced back against the Avs.

Niemi looked good against Colorado, making huge save after huge save, and helped the Sharks battle back from a 2-0 deficit.

Not so good: The offense didn’t.

Again, the offense managed to get no more than two goals, while going 0-5 on the power play.

Good: The Sharks got two points.

Not so good: The points both came in overtime losses, giving opponents valuable points in a tight race.

Additional Notes:

Tommy Wingels is back, and looks fantastic up on the top line with Thornton and Couture. He brings the speed and tenacity that is needed in the top six. Matt Irwin looks like the real deal. He’s playing solid defense and has a straight up canon from the point. I hope he stays in the lineup long term. With Irwin playing well, the Sharks have an excess of outstanding defensemen. It looks like it might be time to try to move some pieces to add offense.

Next game is at St. Louis on Tuesday. A win would be nice. Let’s go Sharks.

fuuuuuuuuuuuuck…

7 Mar

Flames score on Sharks

Well, that wasn’t good. No, that was way worse than not good. That was atrocious. The Sharks got beat by a Calgary team that is mediocre on its good nights.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t watch the entire game. I had to leave before the third period for my own hockey game (our team also only scored one goal). I’m also not one to call out players for their misgivings, but I’m fucking tired of this. There are common themes that continue to emerge game after game, and it’s time to call them out.

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The Traveling Sharks Circus Show is Coming to Calgary!

6 Mar

Joe Thornton cheering.

Come one, come all! Come see the “Most OK-est Show on Earth,” when the San Jose Sharks head to Calgary to take on the Flames. Fresh off a performance in Vancouver last night, the Traveling Sharks Circus Show received rave reviews from all in attendance.

“Pretty entertaining game there, especially at the end.”
– Cory Schneider, Goaltender

You heard it here, folks! Entertainment!

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In Video: Why I can’t stand the Vancouver Canucks

5 Mar

While explaining to my girlfriend the level of hatred I have for certain NHL teams, I referred to the Vancouver Canucks as a team that I “hate more than the Kings, and less than the Ducks.”

 In an attempt to further clarify this statement, and in honor of the second matchup between the Sharks and Canucks this season, I present you with video evidence as to why I dislike the Canucks.

Editorial Note: I am aware that many people dislike the Sharks for some of the same reasons, to which I do not care. Jumbo trolling on Henrik is hilarious.

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