Tag Archives: Joe Pavelski

Sharks Game 1: “We Meet Again”

8 Oct
Sharks forward goes flying into Kings' goaltender Jonathan Quick

Reed Saxon / Associated Press

It’s here, it’s finally here! The NHL opens its season tonight! The Sharks are heading down to L.A. to face their division rivals, the Kings.

Good thing that there’s no bad blood between these two teams.

The last time these two teams fought met?

Joe Thornton is sad.

But hey, all that shit is in the past, right? That’s the beauty of a new season—it’s new! We all can move on from past disappointments, sadness, and heartbreak that occurred last year. And what better way to start off the season than to beat the reigning champs in their own building, something the Sharks struggled to do last season?

San Jose will have to do so with a different leadership group, as the NHL’s best set-up man, Joe Thornton was stripped of the captaincy, perennial 30-goal scorer, Patrick Marleau was deemed ill-fit to be an alternate (meaning he’s now lost the C and the A as a Shark), and Dan Boyle was sent off to the world of free agency, landing with the Rangers.

All signs point to Joe Pavelski, Logan Couture, and Marc-Edouard Vlasic taking over as Captain and two alternates, respectively. No formal announcement has been made, but come on. I mean, come on. Just fucking announce it already, DW.

“The captain? I’ll get back to you on that.”

The other things that haven’t been announced, but we probably can guess:

  • Who will start in net for the Sharks? Niemi.
  • Who will Dustin Brown knee in his first game? Couture.
  • Who will win the game? Kings.

I hate this so much, but I’m also so excited for this season to start.

Go Sharks!

2014-2015 Season Predictions

30 Sep Sharks' forwards Joe Thornton and Brent Burns

It’s almost here. It’s almost fucking here. That wonderful day when a new NHL season begins, and I can go back to comfortably ignoring my obligations while daydreaming about the Sharks hoisting the Cup in the Spring (I mean it has to be their year this time, right?).

Wednesday, October 8 is only eight days away. I can’t wait for it to get here.

But for Sharks players, it will be filled with even more energy, as they have to start their Cup campaign in L.A. against the stupid, butthole, good-for-nothing, Kings. Not only do the Sharks have to play the team that knocked them out right away, but they also have to watch them lift their Stanley Cup Champions banner into the rafters.

 

Dustin Brown of the Kings lifting the Stanley Cup.

I hate the Kings. Fuck.

So now that a new season is nearly upon us, I wanted to take a moment to make my pre-season predictions, for the Sharks, the Pacific Division, and the playoffs altogether.

Prediction Number 1: Joe Pavelski will be the new Sharks captain.
Not that this is a real earth-shattering prediction. I think most people expect Pavs to take over the C this season. And if the Sharks’ new marketing efforts are any indication, they’re looking at Pavelski, Logan Couture, and Tomas Hertl to take over as their captain and two alternates. But if they don’t make Vlasic at least an alternate, that’s a huge mistake.

Prediction Number 2: The Sharks will continue to publicly alienate both Thornton and Marleau.
But privately, they’ll suck up as much as possible. Not because they respect them as players like all of us fans do, but because they want to find a way to move them. Still. I just don’t get it.

Prediction Number 3: Vancouver won’t suck nearly as much.
They’ll still finish no higher than 4th in the Pacific, but the Canucks will improve upon last season. The Sedins will play well. Ryan Miller will too. Nick Bonino will be alright, and they won’t even miss Ryan Kesler that much. The Sharks will still find a way to beat them every time, though.

Prediction Number 4: The Ducks will win the Pacific, Again.
I hate to say this, because of how much I hate the Ducks and all, but they are going to win the division again. They’ve added Ryan Kesler and Dany Heatley, both of whom I think will help them. However, because this is a Bruce Boudreau coached team, they’ll lose in Game 7 of the first round of the playoffs. Brucey likes doing that.

Prediction Number 5: The Sharks will finish 2nd in the Pacific.
Because they’re good like at in the regular season.

Prediction Number 6: The Avalanche will struggle this year.
The Avs will be the surprise disappointment this season, finishing 4th in the Central division.

Prediction Number 6: The Blackhawks will win the West.
I mean, it’s their turn after all. The Blackhawks will beat the Kings to get there.

Prediction Number 7: The Penguins will win the Cup.
I honestly don’t know why I’m saying this, but it has to happen again sometime, right? Maybe a new coach will get them over the hump.

Go Sharks!

Here’s my final predictions, by division:

Pacific

Ducks
Sharks
Kings
Canucks
Oilers
Coyotes
Flames

Central

Blackhawks
Stars
Blues
Avalanche
Predators
Wild
Jets

Metropolitan

Lightning
Bruins
Canadiens
Maple Leafs
Red Wings
Senators
Panthers
Sabres

Atlantic

Penguins
Rangers
Islanders
Capitals
Devils
Blue Jackets
Flyers
Hurricanes

Sharks Offseason Recap #1

23 Jun

Holy shit, what in God’s name is happening to the Sharks?!?!?

sad shark is back

This is the new San Jose Sharks mascot.

That’s seems to be the sentiment of Sharks fans out there in the nether regions of the interwebz. The Sharks are imploding, they’re panicking, they’re driving away their best player and fan favorite, they’re moving to Seattle, they’re smoking crack with Rob Ford, they’re not watching the World Cup, I mean come on you guys, these are some serious accusations.

But let’s not forget that many of these things haven’t actually happened yet, and they’re all called rumors for a reason. Here’s what has been going on so far.

Dan Boyle and Martin Havlat are no longer on the team.

Martin Havlat never quite fit in with the Sharks. And now he’s gone, getting bought out of his stupid $5 million salary, which was really just a less stupid salary than the $7.5 million the Sharks were paying to Dany Heatley, and the Wild were stupid enough to take on. Win win, sort of.

Obviously Boyle is the bigger name on this one. He’s the Sharks’ most prolific scoring defenseman in history, he’s been the point man on the top power play unit (and done a bang up job at it, I must add), and some other third thing. But the problem with Boyle is the problem with many of the Sharks core: he’s old. Boyle’s game has been slowing down the past few seasons, but ever since getting knocked out by Maxim Lapierre (if you don’t know who he is, look up “hillbilly scum bag”) he never looked like the same player. I hate to see him go – he’s a great guy, a good veteran leader, and it leaves a giant-sized hole in our defense.

Which leads me to…

Brent Burns is moving back to defense.

Brent Burns image. He looks like a wolverine.

The ladies can’t get enough of Burns’ D.

I’m mixed on this one. It seemed like the Burns-Thornton-Hertl line was killing it, so this feels like a panic move. Plus in Burns’ short time spent on defense with the Sharks, he was mediocre at best. If he can be a bruising guy that plays with a lot of skill, a la Drew Doughty, that’d be cool. Much less, and I think it’s an overreaction, and a mistake that leads to more problems than solutions. The Sharks have enough young defensemen to form a solid group, and Burns is more needed up front.

The Sharks open the season in L.A.

And they get to watch the Kings raise their Stanley Cup Champions banner into the rafters of the Staples Center. Fuck me.

NHL Awards!

Brent Burns and Patrick Marleau are up for some awards or something.

Now, the rumors!

Joe Thornton and Patrick Marleau are leaving!

Joe Thornton and Patrick Marleau in the 1997 NHL Entry Draft.

Peace, bitches!

This is stupid. Or at least would be really stupid if it actually happened. Trading your two best forwards doesn’t make your team better. Let’s not forget Thornton had 61 assists last year, and if you think Pavelski ever tops 40 goals without Jumbo as his centerman, you must be crazier than Raffi Torres. Look, I love the young core (which somehow includes the soon-to-be 30 year-old Joe Pavelski), but this team needs Thornton and Marleau to push for the Cup, and probably needs them in order to make the playoffs.

The team is leaving!

It was reported that the Sharks made some bad TV deal and wanted more money. That somehow got transformed into “the Sharks are moving.” I highly doubt this happens, but I also never thought Dustin Hillbilly Brown would ever lift the Stanley Cup – let alone twice. God I hate that he’s won it twice. And now he’s making more money than our captain, with far less production and skill.

Anyway, I’m probably wrong about all of this and will have to eat my words in a few weeks (maybe in the form of pie? mmm…pie), but I hope not. The Sharks are a savvy organization and I think once the sting of defeat heals up, they’ll see the light and do what’s right to find their way out of this plight. Otherwise, it’s a long season and a tough fight.

Good night!

Sharks/Penguins: Is that national television I see?

6 Mar

The Sharks are actually on national television, not that it matters much to my cable-challenged self. But hey, any and all exposure to Sharks hockey is good.

The Sharks are taking on the Pittsburgh Penguins at home in the Tank, which is probably better for them, as they’ve struggled against sub-par teams on the road (Buffalo, Carolina anyone?). San Jose is 14-2-1-1 in their last 18 matchups against the Pens, and 9-0-1-0 at home. In fact, the Sharks haven’t lost to Pittsburgh on home ice since 1997, the same day the Marlins beat the Indians in the 7th game of the World Series.

Let’s just hope the trend continues. My ex-girlfriend was a huge Penguins fan, so I would love nothing more than to see the Sharks completely dominate tonight. If you think I’m a bad guy for saying that, keep in mind that she took my dog in the break up. Not cool. I mean, look at this face…

The cutest most awesome dog ever with his favorite toy

My dog, Chief with his favorite toy.

Getting back to hockey, the Sharks need a spark if they plan on catching the fucking Ducks in the division. They finally got Burnzie and Havlat going last game against Carolina, even though they lost. It’s important to get that secondary scoring going, as Pavelski can’t score every goal (although he’s sure trying to).

Speaking of scoring, I’ve been seeing a lot of chatter online about Joe Thornton’s prolific assist total, about how he’s the best set-up guy, about how he’s a true playmaker, etc. While I definitely don’t disagree, I will say the same thing everyone else has said at one point or another while watching the Sharks: Thornton needs to shoot the puck more.

NHL Top 30 Scorers

Currently, Jumbo is second in the league in assists with 51, but is 16th in total points. The reason? He only has 84 shots on the season. David Kreji of Boston has the next lowest total of all skaters in the top 30 for scoring with 132 shots. That’s 48 shots, or as I like to call it, a slow Tuesday. At Thornton’s current shooting percentage of 9.5%, that’s 4.56 more goals with just those additional shots, which would nearly double his goal total on the season.

Anyway, enough babbling. I’m just hoping for a solid win against a team that I really want to hate, but respect the hell out of.

Prediction: Sharks win 3-1, with Thornton getting 2 goals and an assist, just to make me look like an asshole.

Sharks hope to turn it around against Colorado

26 Feb

Dan Boyle skates against a Colorado defensemen.

If there’s a must-win game for the Sharks in this shortened season, it’s this one.

The Sharks are back in HP Pavilion where they are 5-1-2 on the season. They’re playing a Colorado Avalanche team ranked 14th in the Western Conference with 16 points (although to be fair, the Sharks sit at 9th in the West with 19 points). They shut out the Avs 4-0 in the Tank back on January 26. The Sharks haven’t scored more than two goals in seven games, and were shut out twice in that span.

Of course, the last time these two teams met, the Sharks’ offense was cranking at an insane pace, and Patrick Marleau was on his incredible goal scoring streak.

Needless to say, things have changed since.

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Who is at fault for Sharks current woes?

26 Feb

sad shark. can't score on mediocre goaltenders

Let’s face it. The Sharks stink right now. They can’t get away shots, they can’t protect the puck, and they can’t out-skate anybody. Oh, and in case you didn’t notice, they’re having trouble scoring goals.

So who’s to blame? It’s human nature to want to blame someone; to point a finger and yell “IT’S YOUR FAULT!” as we struggle opening another bag of Doritos through our tears.

And I can’t take it anymore, I want a scapegoat, damn it. So who is it?

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Sharks in desperate need of pure scorers

25 Feb
Dany Heatley taking a shot

Without pure scorers like Dany Heatley, the Sharks struggle to get goals.

I miss Dany Heatley. There, I said it. Sure, he was overpaid and was slow at times, but you got to give it to the guy, he just knew how to put the puck into the fucking net.

Remember two seasons ago when Joe Pavelski played on the third line? Remember how awesome it was? The Sharks didn’t just have forward depth then, they had pure scoring depth. Or at the very least, they had a nice variety of skill sets. Marleau and Setoguchi gave Jumbo two dangerous options at all times, Heatley was a sniper on the second line, Torrey Mitchell had a ton of speed that could push the puck up on the third line. Granted, it didn’t hurt that Clowe had a career year playing alongside Couture and Heatley, and having Pavelski’s playmaking ability on the third unit between Mitchell and Kyle Wellwood.

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New series starts today in Texas

23 Feb
Sharks vs. Stars

Sharks face the Stars today in Dallas.

Alright, so the Sharks got swept in their season series with Chicago. They’ve split games with Anaheim and Phoenix. But they have yet to experience two pivotal division matchups yet this season. That changes tonight when the Sharks take on the Stars in Dallas.

Dallas has some new faces on their roster, bringing in Derek Roy from Buffalo and token old guys Jaromir Jagr and Ray Whitney. Plus they have guys who can just score goals (see: Jamie Benn, Loui Eriksson).

Honestly, I haven’t followed Dallas at all this year, and have no idea how they are doing. I think they’re only a few points behind the Sharks. And I’m pretty sure Kari Lehtonen is injured right now too, because he’s on my fantasy team. Needless to say, I have nothing of value to offer here. This game just doesn’t seem to have the same intensity as in years past.

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Here we go again, Hawks beat Sharks. What is this, 2010?

22 Feb

Chicago beat San Jose in a game that blah blah blah blah. This story has been written too many times already.

San Jose had four power plays in this game. The total result? One goal against. The power play right now is atrocious, as the Sharks have only converted two of their last 46 opportunities with the man advantage, the last one coming in garbage time against Columbus. I think at this point, it goes without saying that San Jose lives and dies by the 5 on 4.

The Sharks looked good at the start of this game. They came out with intensity, they finished checks, they moved the puck cleanly through the neutral zone, and got some quality chances, especially from Ryane Clowe. Luckily, Patrick Marleau was able to slip one past Ray Emery late in the first, after a great rush by Joe Pavelski.

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