Tag Archives: Joe Thornton

Sharks Game 2 Recap: Beating the Douchiest Team in Hockey

11 Oct

Yay, the Sharks beat the Ducks who somehow managed to get even more douchey this offseason by bringing on Kevin Bieksa. There’s almost no one left on the Canucks to hate. It’s a weird feeling. At least there’s still Burrows.

OK, let’s get to the game recap. Wow, what a game that was. The Sharks came to play. They’re playing aggressive, they’ve got energy and they are getting it done in all three zones, 5v5, and on special teams. It’s really been a treat thus far.

The Good

Patrick Marleau

This dude straight up came to play. He notched both goals for the Sharks, and both were hard earned, tenacious beauties.

Martin Jones

First game at home. First shutout. Not a bad way to go. Jones kept the Sharks in the game early making one crazy good save after another. This kid is looking to shaping up to be the real deal. And the defense in front of him hasn’t been terrible either!

Peter DeBoer

Forechecking? Net-front presence? Who is this team we’re seeing here? This new system DeBoer and staff have implemented is firing on all cylinders right now, and it’s a beautiful thing to see. The Ducks had no answer for the forecheck, and the Sharks’ best chances came from crashing the net, and getting physical up front.

The Return of Angry Joe

Jumbo lined up across Ryan Getzlaf in the faceoff dot, when Getzlaf started getting physical before the drop. Joe didn’t like that and gave him a swift stick to the abdomen, while getting tossed out. Verbal fisticuffs followed, and it was so good seeing a familiar friend. (Pavelski lost the faceoff)

Brent Burns on Defense!

This is the first game I’ve seen where Brent Burns looked not only competent but downright solid in his defensive role. He played hard, was in good position, and caused an amazing turnover with his stick as he fell to the ice to block the pass. That, and he did his usual damage and disruption in the offensive zone.

The Bad

Frederik Andersen

He didn’t play bad. In fact, he looked straight up nasty. This is bad news for future Sharks/Ducks games, as it’s going to be hard to score on this fool.

Joel Ward’s Empty Net Miss

From center ice, Ward shoots on an empty net to try and get his first goal as a Shark…and it hits the post. D’oh!

The Ugly

The Ducks’ Coaching Staff

Seriously, look at these guys. My god.

Boudreau

macleanheadshot_063015

yawneyheadshot_201415

Next Game: Tuesday, Oct. 13, 4:00 @ Washington Capitals

Sharks Game 1: “We Meet Again”

8 Oct
Sharks forward goes flying into Kings' goaltender Jonathan Quick

Reed Saxon / Associated Press

It’s here, it’s finally here! The NHL opens its season tonight! The Sharks are heading down to L.A. to face their division rivals, the Kings.

Good thing that there’s no bad blood between these two teams.

The last time these two teams fought met?

Joe Thornton is sad.

But hey, all that shit is in the past, right? That’s the beauty of a new season—it’s new! We all can move on from past disappointments, sadness, and heartbreak that occurred last year. And what better way to start off the season than to beat the reigning champs in their own building, something the Sharks struggled to do last season?

San Jose will have to do so with a different leadership group, as the NHL’s best set-up man, Joe Thornton was stripped of the captaincy, perennial 30-goal scorer, Patrick Marleau was deemed ill-fit to be an alternate (meaning he’s now lost the C and the A as a Shark), and Dan Boyle was sent off to the world of free agency, landing with the Rangers.

All signs point to Joe Pavelski, Logan Couture, and Marc-Edouard Vlasic taking over as Captain and two alternates, respectively. No formal announcement has been made, but come on. I mean, come on. Just fucking announce it already, DW.

“The captain? I’ll get back to you on that.”

The other things that haven’t been announced, but we probably can guess:

  • Who will start in net for the Sharks? Niemi.
  • Who will Dustin Brown knee in his first game? Couture.
  • Who will win the game? Kings.

I hate this so much, but I’m also so excited for this season to start.

Go Sharks!

Maybe We’re Not Screwed (The Case For the Sharks) – Offseason Recap #3

25 Aug sad shark is here to party

sad shark is here to party

As you all have noticed, it’s been somewhat of a strange offseason to say the least. The Sharks management has pissed off the entire fan base by signing John Scott, resigning Mike Brown, and adding Ice Girls this season. They’ve also confused everyone (including themselves) as to what the hell their plan is exactly. But worst of all, they’ve effectively alienated their best players, first by saying to the media that they wanted players who “wanted to play here, not just live here,” then by trying to trade said players even though they have contracts with no-trade clauses.

Then, as we’ve all heard this week, the Sharks stripped Jumbo of the captaincy, and once again, the Sharks have a team without a captain (and no As at the moment either).

But even with all that, I don’t think the Sharks are as screwed as everyone thinks they are. Here’s my case for the Sharks this season.

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Sharks Offseason Recap #1

23 Jun

Holy shit, what in God’s name is happening to the Sharks?!?!?

sad shark is back

This is the new San Jose Sharks mascot.

That’s seems to be the sentiment of Sharks fans out there in the nether regions of the interwebz. The Sharks are imploding, they’re panicking, they’re driving away their best player and fan favorite, they’re moving to Seattle, they’re smoking crack with Rob Ford, they’re not watching the World Cup, I mean come on you guys, these are some serious accusations.

But let’s not forget that many of these things haven’t actually happened yet, and they’re all called rumors for a reason. Here’s what has been going on so far.

Dan Boyle and Martin Havlat are no longer on the team.

Martin Havlat never quite fit in with the Sharks. And now he’s gone, getting bought out of his stupid $5 million salary, which was really just a less stupid salary than the $7.5 million the Sharks were paying to Dany Heatley, and the Wild were stupid enough to take on. Win win, sort of.

Obviously Boyle is the bigger name on this one. He’s the Sharks’ most prolific scoring defenseman in history, he’s been the point man on the top power play unit (and done a bang up job at it, I must add), and some other third thing. But the problem with Boyle is the problem with many of the Sharks core: he’s old. Boyle’s game has been slowing down the past few seasons, but ever since getting knocked out by Maxim Lapierre (if you don’t know who he is, look up “hillbilly scum bag”) he never looked like the same player. I hate to see him go – he’s a great guy, a good veteran leader, and it leaves a giant-sized hole in our defense.

Which leads me to…

Brent Burns is moving back to defense.

Brent Burns image. He looks like a wolverine.

The ladies can’t get enough of Burns’ D.

I’m mixed on this one. It seemed like the Burns-Thornton-Hertl line was killing it, so this feels like a panic move. Plus in Burns’ short time spent on defense with the Sharks, he was mediocre at best. If he can be a bruising guy that plays with a lot of skill, a la Drew Doughty, that’d be cool. Much less, and I think it’s an overreaction, and a mistake that leads to more problems than solutions. The Sharks have enough young defensemen to form a solid group, and Burns is more needed up front.

The Sharks open the season in L.A.

And they get to watch the Kings raise their Stanley Cup Champions banner into the rafters of the Staples Center. Fuck me.

NHL Awards!

Brent Burns and Patrick Marleau are up for some awards or something.

Now, the rumors!

Joe Thornton and Patrick Marleau are leaving!

Joe Thornton and Patrick Marleau in the 1997 NHL Entry Draft.

Peace, bitches!

This is stupid. Or at least would be really stupid if it actually happened. Trading your two best forwards doesn’t make your team better. Let’s not forget Thornton had 61 assists last year, and if you think Pavelski ever tops 40 goals without Jumbo as his centerman, you must be crazier than Raffi Torres. Look, I love the young core (which somehow includes the soon-to-be 30 year-old Joe Pavelski), but this team needs Thornton and Marleau to push for the Cup, and probably needs them in order to make the playoffs.

The team is leaving!

It was reported that the Sharks made some bad TV deal and wanted more money. That somehow got transformed into “the Sharks are moving.” I highly doubt this happens, but I also never thought Dustin Hillbilly Brown would ever lift the Stanley Cup – let alone twice. God I hate that he’s won it twice. And now he’s making more money than our captain, with far less production and skill.

Anyway, I’m probably wrong about all of this and will have to eat my words in a few weeks (maybe in the form of pie? mmm…pie), but I hope not. The Sharks are a savvy organization and I think once the sting of defeat heals up, they’ll see the light and do what’s right to find their way out of this plight. Otherwise, it’s a long season and a tough fight.

Good night!

Sharks/Penguins: Is that national television I see?

6 Mar

The Sharks are actually on national television, not that it matters much to my cable-challenged self. But hey, any and all exposure to Sharks hockey is good.

The Sharks are taking on the Pittsburgh Penguins at home in the Tank, which is probably better for them, as they’ve struggled against sub-par teams on the road (Buffalo, Carolina anyone?). San Jose is 14-2-1-1 in their last 18 matchups against the Pens, and 9-0-1-0 at home. In fact, the Sharks haven’t lost to Pittsburgh on home ice since 1997, the same day the Marlins beat the Indians in the 7th game of the World Series.

Let’s just hope the trend continues. My ex-girlfriend was a huge Penguins fan, so I would love nothing more than to see the Sharks completely dominate tonight. If you think I’m a bad guy for saying that, keep in mind that she took my dog in the break up. Not cool. I mean, look at this face…

The cutest most awesome dog ever with his favorite toy

My dog, Chief with his favorite toy.

Getting back to hockey, the Sharks need a spark if they plan on catching the fucking Ducks in the division. They finally got Burnzie and Havlat going last game against Carolina, even though they lost. It’s important to get that secondary scoring going, as Pavelski can’t score every goal (although he’s sure trying to).

Speaking of scoring, I’ve been seeing a lot of chatter online about Joe Thornton’s prolific assist total, about how he’s the best set-up guy, about how he’s a true playmaker, etc. While I definitely don’t disagree, I will say the same thing everyone else has said at one point or another while watching the Sharks: Thornton needs to shoot the puck more.

NHL Top 30 Scorers

Currently, Jumbo is second in the league in assists with 51, but is 16th in total points. The reason? He only has 84 shots on the season. David Kreji of Boston has the next lowest total of all skaters in the top 30 for scoring with 132 shots. That’s 48 shots, or as I like to call it, a slow Tuesday. At Thornton’s current shooting percentage of 9.5%, that’s 4.56 more goals with just those additional shots, which would nearly double his goal total on the season.

Anyway, enough babbling. I’m just hoping for a solid win against a team that I really want to hate, but respect the hell out of.

Prediction: Sharks win 3-1, with Thornton getting 2 goals and an assist, just to make me look like an asshole.

A Postseason Introspective

29 Apr

NHL Playoffs 2013 logo

A Sharks postseason is a lot like a Christopher Nolan movie: deep, entertaining, and always falling short of the biggest prize.

In 2008, The Dark Knight was released, breaking box office records in the process. Then after the tragic death of Heath Ledger, the movie was snubbed for an Oscar, not even garnering a nomination for Best Picture.

In 2008-2009, the Sharks won the President’s Trophy, finishing the season with 117 points, the most in Pacific Division history. Then they got bounced by the Disney on Ice, the Anaheim Ducks, in six games. And that was without Emilio.

In 2010, Christopher Nolan released Inception, an intense thriller that followed a team of extractors exploring the deep subconscious of people while dreaming. The movie had it all: an Oscar-winning leading man, a great supporting cast, a brilliant director, and a big budget. Yet, still no Oscar. It got beat out by The King’s Speech, a movie about a man unprepared for the throne.

In 2010-2011, the Sharks named the gold medalist and Art Ross and Hart Trophy-winning badass, Joe Thornton, as their new captain. They won the Pacific (again), then beat the Kings and beat the Red Wings in epic fashion. However, it was in the Western Conference Finals that a bad dream became a reality, with the Sharks losing to a team unprepared for King Stanley’s throne.

Here’s hoping that this postseason is more like Man of Steel, a movie about a man with enough super human strength to defeat a whale, duck, king, bear, penguin, whatever.

Let’s just hope the Sharks don’t play the Seattle Kryptonite.

Since the Sharks don’t play until Wednesday, here’s a preview of Man of Steel, which looks awesome.

The Traveling Sharks Circus Show is Coming to Calgary!

6 Mar

Joe Thornton cheering.

Come one, come all! Come see the “Most OK-est Show on Earth,” when the San Jose Sharks head to Calgary to take on the Flames. Fresh off a performance in Vancouver last night, the Traveling Sharks Circus Show received rave reviews from all in attendance.

“Pretty entertaining game there, especially at the end.”
– Cory Schneider, Goaltender

You heard it here, folks! Entertainment!

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In Video: Why I can’t stand the Vancouver Canucks

5 Mar

While explaining to my girlfriend the level of hatred I have for certain NHL teams, I referred to the Vancouver Canucks as a team that I “hate more than the Kings, and less than the Ducks.”

 In an attempt to further clarify this statement, and in honor of the second matchup between the Sharks and Canucks this season, I present you with video evidence as to why I dislike the Canucks.

Editorial Note: I am aware that many people dislike the Sharks for some of the same reasons, to which I do not care. Jumbo trolling on Henrik is hilarious.

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Sharks lose again; it might be time to make some changes.

1 Mar

http://www.toledoblade.com/image/2011/11/18/300x_b1_a4-3_cCM_z/Red-Wings-Sharks-Hockey.jpg

The Sharks lost again, dropping one against Detroit 2-1 in another goddamn shootout. They are in a tailspin. It’s time to shake it up, and make some moves.

Editor’s Note: I wanted to make a Saturday Night Fever reference here, but then I’d have to wait until tomorrow. It’s probably for the best.

The best explanation of this game’s letdown comes from Fear The Fin’s game preview:

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Who is at fault for Sharks current woes?

26 Feb

sad shark. can't score on mediocre goaltenders

Let’s face it. The Sharks stink right now. They can’t get away shots, they can’t protect the puck, and they can’t out-skate anybody. Oh, and in case you didn’t notice, they’re having trouble scoring goals.

So who’s to blame? It’s human nature to want to blame someone; to point a finger and yell “IT’S YOUR FAULT!” as we struggle opening another bag of Doritos through our tears.

And I can’t take it anymore, I want a scapegoat, damn it. So who is it?

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