Tag Archives: San Jose

Goons, Buffoons, and Ice Girls! Offseason Recap #2

3 Jul

There’s an old expression that goes like, “the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is today.” That has nothing to do with the San Jose Sharks, because I don’t even think they know what a tree is at this point; they’re looking for a solid “stump” to help protect their leaves.

The Sharks have announced that they’re bringing back Mike Brown, signing him to a two-year deal worth $2.4 million dollars. For Mike Brown. The Mike Brown who had a whole five points last season. The same Mike Brown who is used sparingly on the fourth line, when he isn’t hanging out in the press box on yet another healthy scratch.

Yeah, this fucking guy is making $1.15 million next season.

But that’s not all, ladies and gentlemen, the Sharks are also bringing in John Scott for $700,000 this season, which is great for Mike Brown, because he is no longer the worst player on the San Jose Sharks. No that honor now belongs to this other fucking guy.

It’s all going to be ok though, Sharks fans, not to worry. The San Jose Sharks organization has also decided to bring on a team of ice girls to help soothe your troubles (or a “co-ed” “Ice Team” if you will). You know, the scantily-clad woman with shovels who smooth out the ice surface during game breaks and intermissions, and who lead between-period entertainment.

But wait. Maybe the Sharks are actually committed to icing a progressive, co-ed entertainment team. Let’s take a look at the proposed uniforms.


Picture includes both men and women, that’s good. A full-body shot of women are dressed in tight-fighting yoga pants and jerseys with high midriffs, showing off thin, athletic bodies. The man is dressed in a full jacket, and shown only from the waist up.

Well they only say that a picture is worth a thousand words. What about the actual words?



They do seem to be pretty detailed and prepared for the women to try out, not as much for the men. Guess we’ll have to check back, eh?

Let’s just say the feedback online hasn’t been so hot thus far.


Full article (with more fun tweets) here:

In other quick hits, the Sharks actually did something cool by signing Tye McGinn, the younger brother of former-Shark, Jamie McGinn. However, they did get Tye from the Flyers, which means he’s probably either an insufferable douchebag or a dumb ass.

I don’t know what the rest of the offseason will bring, but I just hope it will end soon. I can’t take much more.



San Jose vs. Vancouver: Music Edition

7 May

Image of Don Cherry's Hockey Hits

So I didn’t think of the idea for this post until just now, and I wish I had thought of it before the series (curse you, full-time employment!). Basically, I thought it would be fun to compare two bands: one from San Jose and one from Vancouver to see which one is better.

And since we’ve seen who has the better hockey team through three games, maybe now actually is a better time to start the discussion.

San Jose: The Limousines

The Limousines are an “indietronica” band hailing from the South (and East) Bay, California. They formed in 2007 by sending each other samples and melodies through the Interwebz. Then they compiled said samples into actual tunes.

The Hits:

“Internet Killed the Video Star” – lame title, but catchy as hell.


“Very Busy People” – another catchy tune, but even better video.


Vancouver: Mother Mother

Mother Mother is an eccentric, five-piece indie/folk/rock band that features brother and sister, Ryan and Molly Guldemond. Their lyrics can leave you in a state of wonder one song, make you laugh the next, but always leave you wanting more. Basically, they’re awesome. Way more awesome than their hockey team.

The Hits:

“The Stand” – One of my favorite tunes of theirs, although the video is a bit dizzying.


“O My Heart” – I hadn’t actually watched the video until now, but it’s about what I would expect, in a good way. The song itself is awesome.


The Winner: Mother Mother

I like the Limousines (and have their album on vinyl), but Mother Mother is more musically talented and are better songwriters. The Limousines do have interesting music videos and did completely fund their new album (out in 2013!) on Kickstarter, but Mother Mother has been killing it for much longer. And let’s face it, this is my blog, I don’t need to prove myself to you guys.

What do you think: Mother Mother or The Limousines?

Oh and by the way, and I’m taking Vancouver sneak away with a victory, by whining and crying until the refs just let them win. Final: 2-1, with goals from the Sedins and Couture.

Thanks for checking this out

20 Feb

Hi all,

I’m currently developing the meat and potatoes of the site in hopes to really get this thing going this season. I mean, we’re already a quarter of the way through it. I’d love to follow the Sharks throughout the entire season, through the highs (7 game winning streak to open the season), the lows (losing the next 7), and everything in between (Handzus shootout wins?).

I hope you’ll join me.